Inspired by this Valentine’s Day Perfect Man immortalized in premium milk chocolate, I decided to search for an answer to the complex question that it brought to mind. Is the ideal man sweet and decadently rich with a muscular chest and big biceps?

Yes and no, according to the results of the 2019 Ideal Partner Global Survey, a collaboration between Clue, a company providing menstrual cycle tracking products, the University of Göttingen in Germany, and MyONE Condoms. MyONE is notable in that it offers no less than 52 different condom sizes, with 10 different lengths and 9 different widths available. Who would have known that there was so much penile variation in the world?

The Ideal Partner Survey looked at 68,000 women worldwide, including various sexual orientations and stages of life. Researchers found that the number one attribute women were looking for in a long-term partner was kindness, so sweet kinda works there. Worldwide, women of all sexual orientations said that kindness, supportiveness, intelligence, education, and confidence were very important traits in a long-term partner.

Decadently rich? Well, that apparently depends on your location. In Japan, 67% of respondents said the financial security of a long-term partner was very important, compared to about 60% in the USA, with French women, at 34%, the least likely to consider financial security a critical issue. So guys, if you’re poor but want to find a life partner, maybe you should move to France.

What about that muscular body? Are women looking for 6-pack abs? Apparently not. When it comes to physical features, an appealing smile and attractive eyes are more important than everything else, including genitals, with most women preferring a male member of average size. Whatever condom sizes MyONE offers, men requiring the largest ones were not selected as desirable by women, despite any myths claiming the contrary.

One trait that both heterosexual and lesbian women liked in a partner was an attractive back. I personally found that somewhat odd. After all, isn’t it more important to find the front view of your partner appealing, rather than what they look like from behind?

There is one useful attribute a Milk Chocolate Perfect Man has that cannot be found in any flesh-and-blood human male. If he proves to be too difficult to tolerate, you can always bite his head off!