CJ: I have recently become friends with a wonderful multi-talented lady: Angela Schutz, author, life coach, career counselor and a youthful septuagenarian with a great sense of humor. She has written a online dating book that might save you heartache and make you laugh. I asked her to write a blog about it for my website and she graciously agreed to do one.
Angela: The interesting thing about being a Baby Boomer, born between 1946-1965, is that we seem to think we can do anything, and we never give up!! With those principles deeply imbedded in my psyche, I found that after my 43-year marriage ended, I would find love again.
Suddenly I found myself alone. What I knew for sure was that I did not want to live out the rest of my life by myself. I was still very young at heart and had lots of love to give. I had heard of online dating, but like many women my age, I was petrified by the thought of meeting a stranger online. I virtually knew nothing about online dating. I have never met anyone who had met and married anyone online. I was a true newbie.
I did have one thing going for me, or so I thought. I am an author, and so I told myself that I would simply journal about the first thirty days using an online dating format. My theory was that, like me, there were plenty of other women out there who were as scared as I am and by documenting my experience, they could learn about the ins and outs of the online dating world before they committed to trying it themselves.
I have always been a curious person. I love it when I can find someone who can teach me something new. Having someone answer my questions, especially if I am anxious about a new experience. I wanted to be that person for others, and so I started to document my experiences.
In my book, A Boomer Chick’s Guide to Online Dating – You’re Never Too Old to Look and Love, I start out taking you through the journey of my first thirty days online and all the lessons I learned along the way. I found that there were so many valuable lessons that I learned. Some were a result of the interactions I had online, and some were a result of my reactions to things I never knew I cared so deeply about. I was surprised and delighted by the poetry that some men wrote in their profiles. I was tickled by the way they could weave romance into their profiles, and amazed at the lists of books they had read. I jotted down the names of authors I had never heard of and book titles to explore later.
Although this guide is aimed at “Boomer Chicks,” there are clearly lessons that are appropriate for young and old alike. There is no magic age for finding the joys of being in a loving relationship. There is a healthy dose of honesty and commitment that each member of the couple needs to put effort into. Like anything of value that you want, you need to be willing to take action to nurture it and allow it to grow.
Having your own clear set of values and goals helps to strengthen the relationship, but only when both members are willing to have open, honest discussions. Being at an advanced age can have its own set of elements to look at and discuss. What type of relationship do you want? Are you looking for a companion, a friend with benefits or a spouse? If marriage is a consideration, where will you live? Will your family approve of your choice in a new partner? …And what about all your stuff? There are so many things to consider.
My goal is to help women looking for love, reduce their fear of online dating so that they can find the man of their dreams. As a coach by profession, I ask a lot of questions, in the hope that you will find clarity about this next phase of your life. Education is power, especially when you are entering into the unknown and uncharted waters of online dating.
The guide I have written is meant as entertainment, and in that vein, I hope it will make you chuckle. I also hope you will learn some practical lessons on how to recognize “red flags” in a relationship so that you won’t get caught up in any difficult situations or scams.
Most importantly, I hope you will learn how to take an appreciative look at who you are and what you need. Examine your skills and talents. Take stock of your values. Learn the importance of loving yourself first so that you are whole and ready to love a partner.
Be smart and safe! Love and happiness is your birthright. Take your time and know that the right partner will find you! If you want to connect to me, go to www.Boomer-chick.com.
Angela Schutz is author of the Career Guide: Career Questions? ASK ANGELA
A job-seeker’s guide to finding the perfect job! You can find out more about her career and life counseling services at https://www.driventosucceed.net.