As a lifelong chocoholic, I’m always heartened by tales of the healing power of chocolate. There have been several studies looking at its anti-cancer properties. In 2009, Nutrition and Cancer published a report entitled “Cancer protective properties of cocoa: a review of the epidemiologic evidence,” that stated, “In moderation, cocoa products may offer strong antioxidant effects in combination with a pleasurable eating experience.” As a two-time breast cancer survivor, that’s good to know.

The Monastery of Santa Herminia la Real in southern Spain was one of the earliest places in Europe to have access to cocoa, brought back by conquistadors and friars who had traveled to the Americas during the 1500s. The beloved Renaissance abbot, Manuel de la Carcajada, adored by the nuns in the neighboring convent, was ailing with syphilis, for which at that time there was no cure. He was apparently miraculously cured by bathing twice daily in a hot bath of cocoa and donkey milk. Donkey milk has been known since antiquity for its healing properties, but it seems that the addition of cocoa was essential to the abbot’s recovery. To preserve the vitality and beauty of her skin, it is said that Cleopatra, Queen of the Ptolemaic Kingdom of Egypt from 51 to 30 BC, regularly took baths in donkey milk, but sadly at that time no cocoa or chocolate was available. For me, this would be one of the major downsides of living during that time period.

So, is soaking your body in drinking chocolate a cure for life-threatening STDs? These days there would be no need to do the research to find out. With the advent of antibiotics from the 1940s onward, syphilis and other sexually-transmitted diseases became easy to cure. No cocoa baths required. Nevertheless, the Spanish are proud of the unique way the abbot of Santa Herminia la Real managed to deal with his incurable condition back in the Renaissance era. A special chocolate bar was named La Herminia in honor of the story. It is not chocolate you are meant to eat as is. Instead, the packaging bears the words “para su consume cocido”—for consumption cooked. The bar contains solid cocoa for drinking chocolate. Just melt two or three pieces in a cup of hot milk, stir vigorously, and you’ve almost got Abbot Manuel’s healing cure in your hands. Only two things would be missing—donkey milk rather than cow’s milk, and a cup big enough to bathe in.

I don’t know where you’d find any donkey milk, but the Chocolate Spa at Hotel Hershey in Pennsylvania offers a bath of whipped chocolate milk. Enjoy it while breathing in brownie-batter-scented steam and basking in the glow of Tootsie Roll-flavored candles. Still on the subject of candles, my view is that Hershey’s offerings don’t hold a candle to Swiss chocolate. I would want something more up market, so my choice would be to head off to Europe and visit After the Rain, one the best spas in Geneva. There I would be able to treat myself to a 45-minute cocoa bean oil massage and a 30-minute chocolate and whipped cream bath, literally good enough to drink. Even if this might not cure all my physical ailments, it would be guaranteed to make me feel deeply relaxed and content. Is there a shower afterwards to clean off the chocolate at the end, I wonder, or is a studly Swiss gentleman provided to help remove it?